A SUMMARY OF MAX SCHULMAN’S “LOVE IS A FALLACY ”

Max Schulman’s “Love is a fallacy” is about a story of, well, a story of stupidity. It’s a story of how a very intelligent young man took advantage of a roommate’s stupidity in order to get the girl (who’s very pretty but quite empty-headed as well) he wanted, but only to get frustrated in the end.

Petey Bellows (the stupid roommate) wanted a raccoon coat so as to be one of the “Big Men” on Campus (meaning, one who’s “in”). The narrator (the intelligent young man), remembered that his dad had a raccoon coat at home. He made a suggestion to his roommate, his father’s raccoon coat in exchange for Petey’s current date, Polly Espy. The intelligent young man wanted Polly as his girlfriend, and eventually his wife.

Polly is almost perfect, beautiful and gracious. She has an erectness of carriage, an ease of bearing, with poise that clearly indicates the best of breeding. Her table manners are exquisite. He had seen her at the Kozy Kampus Korner eating the specialty of the house—a sandwich that contained scraps of pot roast, gravy, chopped nuts, and a dipper of sauerkraut—without even getting her fingers moist. But!! There’s a big but. She is not intelligent, not even close. However, the narrator is determined to get the girl and planned to teach her some logic to smarten her up.

Smart as he was, he eventually got Petey ‘s girl, Polly in exchange for the raccoon coat. He taught the girl some logic – i.e. Dicto Simpliciter, Post Hoc, Contradictory Premises, Ad Misericordiam, Hypothesis Contrary to Fact, and Poisoning the Well. The girl was, at least, interested about this “stuff”. At the end of the sessions, he told the girl that he loved her and asked her to go steady with him. The girl said no since she had already promised to go steady with Petey Bellows. The intelligent young man went in a fit of rage and began blabbing criticizing Petey. Polly surprisingly applied his teachings about logic to counteract his criticisms. This really got him at the peak of his rage, and demanded an explanation of why she wanted to go steady with “dumb” Petey. Not surprisingly, Polly answered, “Of course, he’s got a raccoon coat!”