On Being Taught By Students

What do you feel when you are being taught by students? Do you feel ashamed? Do you feel surprised? Do you feel shocked? Or will you just act like nothing has happened? For me, being a teacher to your fellow students involves a lot of sacrifices. You have to give up many things, more patience to burn, and a lot of smiles to give (even if you don’t feel like smiling). So what about you? What would you feel? But let’s tackle that later. Let’s talk about how I felt.

Picture this scene. Your seatmate and best friend, stands near you one day and asks you, “Beverly, what’s the answer???” Then you realize the drastic change of schooling nowadays. I am more comfortable with situations where students are the ones acting as teachers. I can talk to the student-teachers with my heart not beating fast (it also means no stammering). I can interact with my teachers naturally. I feel that there’s nothing to be afraid of.

My experience in the know-your-school-day (KYSD), even though I did not apply as a student- teacher, was quite fruitful. I learned the sacrifices my classmate–turned–teachers have to make just to be able to teach his/her fellow students, not only the subject matter, but also some values. We enjoyed each other’s company because we were able to jam with each other. We were shocked though, when a classmate of ours whom we thought was very shy, was standing in front of us acting as our teacher.

What I like about KYSD is that it gives students the privilege to experience something beyond the boundaries of the four walls of the classroom. The other lesson I learned from KYSD is the sacrifices our teachers have made just to impart knowledge to us. I learn the hardships they endure. Through this Blog, I would like to extend my thanks to my energetic and patient teachers for teaching me different things that opened my eyes to the reality of this world and beyond. Now I am leaving second year, I would miss my teachers for this year. I would miss the wonderful experiences my fellow classmates and I had experienced. I would cherish these memories in my heart. Thanks to KYSD, I was able to appreciate my teachers, especially those whose subjects I felt are more difficult than the others.

Fame and Love Never Mix

Have you ever wondered why relationships between stars (i.e. actors, actresses, singers, basketball players) never last? I think one of the reasons is that fame and love never mix. To name a few… Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake, Kirsten Dunst and Jake Gylenhaal, Paris Hilton and Paris (sumthin’), Bing Loyzaga and Janno Gibbs, John Estrada and Vanesa del Bianco, Pops and Martin… Only few relationships (in show business anyway) tend to last forever.

Fame and love never mix because with fame comes competition in different forms. One of the overused reasons is “irreconcilable differences.” What does this mean anyway? This means nobody has time enough to really sit and talk about what’s wrong! The other most obvious reason is a “third party.” Well this simply means you’ve fallen out of love and putting all the blame on the third party. Or maybe the reason is simply that an actress or an actor simply flirted with somebody (who probably has commitments already) using her/his beauty and body. When the seduction succeeds, there would be a “secret” relationship. Why secret? Because the relationship is supposed to be forbidden since one has already a commitment with someone else. Anyway, when everyone finds out about this relationship, the actress would cry her heart out (to get the public’s sympathy) and say “we fell in love with each other,” or “we did it for love.” In reality though, it started out with flirting. You think you came out clean there lady?

Well, let’s focus on TIME (or the lack of it). I think this is one of the major reasons why fame and love never mix. Of course, if you were famous, you’d have projects/endorsements left and right. Putting on make-up alone would already eat up a lot of your time. You’d have to appear beautiful at all times for the public to admire you…so you go to the salon to have your hair and nails done…then off to the spa for a body massage, foot spa and a facial…to your favorite designer for a list of clothes you need for the next week or two…Hectic huh? Have you ever been to a make-up room? I’m sure in every make-up room, you’d hear the words “hurry up,” “could somebody get this hair done?” or “how do I look?” (even if she has this big mirror in front of her) See, they’re quite busy. So what happens is that they meet a beautiful girl or boy – and in such a short time “fall in love” (even if they hardly had the time to get to know each other). As expected, after realizing they’ve had enough of each other, they break up.

PEER PRESSURE could be another reason why fame and love never mix. I can just imagine the pressure and stress a showbiz personality has to endure just to maintain a certain image and a circle of so-called friends. Then of course there’s always the thought that tomorrow may not be your time anymore – with many new talents coming in. Whew! What happens is that when you get pissed (which could be often), you blow off steam at your partner. Expectedly, at the end of a month or two, you call it quits.

There could be a thousand and one reasons (excuses) why fame and love never mix. But I’m sure there are also a thousand and one ways to enable fame and love to mix. I think that love, whether between famous people and between the not-so-famous people, is just the same. Love may not also work for the not-so-famous people (just like the famous ones). In order for love to last forever, both have to work for it. Time should not be made an excuse, instead manage it well and use it as a weapon to strengthen your relationship. I am not sure where the future will lead me (will it lead me to fame or not?). But definitely, when it comes to relationships, I want mine to be just like that of my parents – still going strong after 14 years of married life! (Eat your heart out Britney Spears!)

Draculas Journal

For hundreds of years, I have existed as a monster. You fear me for I go out at night, bite your necks and suck out your blood. I don’t know why I love blood. When I drink blood, I feel 20 years younger (you say so too!). I can’t confirm if I really look as I feel (20 years younger) because remember, I don’t have a reflection in the mirror.

It has been a long time since I’ve written again in my black book (my diary). You have long proclaimed me dead. Ha, ha, ha, now I’ve proven you wrong! I was only asleep. I was unable to escape this unlucky fate. For a long time, I hid in a barn in Transylvania and I’ve lived there ever since I awoke. I longed for those days when I still lived at the palace. My lifestyle then was quite extravagant. Drat to you who learned of my “nocturnal activities!” Oh well, I better make the most of what I see, hear and learn now to further my plan of world domination.

Sadly, I seldom go out for bites nowadays. I can sense the world changing. I can see tall towers that you people call as “cell sites” and big dish-like structures you call “satellite dish.” I hear you talk in English but I can’t seem to understand the words coming out of your mouth. Words such as internet, I-pod, digital camera, cellphone. I also hear the words surf the net, Yahoo, Google, Friendster, etc. What are these? Have I awakened in another world? Aahh no, I’m sure this is still Earth, but a very different Earth. I used to have a very big library with all the books about England. Now, you talk about a very big CD–ROM Library. What’s that?

I have to be very careful nowadays when I try to go out for a “bite.” You now have a “jail” with people in uniform closely guarding it. And I learned that if you commit a really big crime, you don’t go to jail. Instead you are condemned to die, not in the gallows, but through lethal injection.

Now, I’m really interested in this internet thing. I learned that you can find anything in the internet. I want to search for new places where I can find new victims or what you call as “new blood.” I also want to “chat” with people across the globe. I’ll try to learn their addresses, their weaknesses and strengths. Then when I already have their trust and confidence, that’s the time I can victimize them. He, he, he. I can always create an alias so there’s no way they’ll ever find out the real me. Besides, I can do these things inside the safety of my hiding place. I can now see that this internet makes my plan for world domination relatively easy. I’ll turn you all into vampires in due time…that’s a promise.

Aahh… that was tiring. I must sleep now dear diary because it’s near sunrise. My coffin, which I built from the wood planks I found in this abandoned barn, awaits me. Sweet dreams!

THE DIARY OF BRITNEY SPEARS- Part II

Oh dearie me, since I’ve been in rehab, beans are starting to spill out. People already know my secrets. I don’t know what to do, dear diary! I’ve tried to clean up my image since I went into rehab but people seem to doubt my sincerity. They keep saying that going into rehab is the only good thing I ever did. I’ve read the news today, and aw my gawd! My worst secrets are out, thanks to Jason Alexander for taking me to the place where I shouldn’t have been. I don’t like this, dear diary. I can feel the ground below me crumble every second they criticize me. How I wish the earth would just swallow me – THE SHAME! I can’t bear the shame anymore. Want to know what have been revealed about me so far?

Let’s start with some very hush-hush secrets that they’ve spilt out. First: My lesbian sex tape scandal. Oh dear diary, if only I could cover this one up! This happened February 12. The news said, “a surveillance tape showing the troubled pop star, Britney Spears (that’s me) getting quite intimate with two female dancers at a New York club as the latest hot property for internet porn companies. The singer (me again!) changed into fishnet stockings and a bikini while partying with … (end).

Oh dear diary, I know this is true and I’ve made a fool of myself (well, I was always a fool). I was jammin’ with the girls and then something just got inside my head about, you know… I am not a lesbian, I can assure you that! Let’s say, I love to try new things. I love adventure. I want to go to the places I haven’t visited yet, or do things I haven’t done yet like, going steamy with girls, shaving my head, or posing naked while pregnant…ya know…

Next on the list of my exposed very hush-hush secrets is that I took drugs for years. Well, thanks to you Jason Alexander for being truthful to the press and to the people. I love you for it Jason babe. Don’t worry, when I get out of rehab…I’m gonna @#$%*& you!

I know this is Jason Alexander’s way of getting even. But I tell you Jason dear, I have my ways of getting at you too. You told them we took ecstasy together (it felt good). You also told them that I got away with a lot of stuff because I’m Britney Spears (well, you do have some privileges if you’re famous). By the way, why in heaven’s name did you tell them that I was no longer a VIRGIN? Gosh! That really ruined my reputation. I had to dress as a demure schoolgirl in my earlier videos just to establish that VIRGINAL reputation then you…you just blew it! I worked hard for my reputation, from the time I started with Mickey Mouse Club to Oops I did it again. You never cared for my efforts. You just have to spill it out, don’t you?

Dear diary, I’m so upset and confused. Before this rehab thing and before all these scandals broke out, people look at me and see SUCCESS in every way. They just don’t know that I have sacrificed a lot just to make my mom happy. They just don’t know that I have never lived a normal life as a kid because I started young in the movies or on television. They just don’t know that at some point in my “successful” life, I became tired and confused, so I rebelled. Now, I guess people call me different names…BAD INFLUENCE, SLUT, DRUG ADDICT… Sad isn’t it. Dear diary, do you really think this is what I wanted? Am I solely to blame for all of these? Am I not a victim of pressure due to fame? Was my family part of this mess? How about my so-called friends and love ones? What have they done for me? I don’t know dear diary… anyway I have to say goodbye for now. Have to put on some hair grower on my head. MWAH!

Palmapithecus-continuance of Evolution

As messenger of the king Ziggurat Palmapithecus, I hereby declare, CONTINUE EVOLVING. Yes, we are already in a very stable condition and we have fully evolved. However, we know we can still evolve, so continue doing so. We Palmapithecus species are very rare that we have the most unique DNA structure in the planet. We also have the most unique logical skills and we excel highly in academics. Sometimes though, we get into trouble and make utter fools of ourselves. Even then, we’re still the best! We stand as one indestructible force in which even the hardest of all hard militant groups or the strongest of all strong weapons of destruction cannot destroy. Hail the Palmapithecus species!

We have survived years of evolution without any major setbacks. Even though we took the mind-breaking Chemistry exams of Mdm. Lapa, or the mind-boggling Algebra quizzes of Mdm. Nuñez, we are still here and still going strong! Although we have committed violations and we know that at the end of the semester, we have to answer for these – we know we will still triumph in the end. We have overcome not only academic challenges, but emotional challenges as well (such as these things called “love”, “love triangle”, “jealousy”, “confusion”)

Palmapithecus, we have enjoyed a year of evolution together bringing along with us many fond memories. The past year has been a year of happy, embarrassing, surprising, and totally awesome moments. Aahh, those totally unforgettable moments…remember the time you tripped near the sink or worse, in the middle of the quadrangle? How about when you pronounced a word incorrectly and get laughed at? Or when somebody says “I love You” with the whole population witnessing the event…we’re sure to remember all of these!

We also cherish those moments with our superiors/mentors – our teachers. We feel close to them. Sometimes even if we argue with them (as part of the class discussion), we still end up as friends. We jam with them. We want our teacher to remember us (especially in making the grades – joke only!) so we make “sipsip” by carrying the teacher’s bag or books to the classroom (sorry Mr. K., I am annoyed everytime you do that – style mo bulok!). Of course the teachers can read our minds (being sipsip), but still, this act puts a smile in their faces (forced smile?).

Enough of all the reminiscing, lest you fall asleep. Let’s go back to the declaration. We have truly evolved Palmapithecus afarensis/ziggurat…we have evolved. Continue evolving into a better (or best) species. Continue growing and developing not just physically but emotionally, spiritually and mentally as well. Go Palmapithecus! Let us continue our quest of becoming the best (as always)! In the far future when all of us have evolved, we know that we cannot go back to our past form (or retrogress), but we can always look back at the memories (fond or otherwise) that may help us evolve further. In other words, never forget where you came from!

I am Afraid..... of the Dark

I don’t know exactly when it started. When the lights are turned off, I shiver. When I’m alone in the middle of a dark road, I shake. When I’m suddenly trapped in a dark room, I scream…aaahhh! I just don’t know why. I can’t remember any traumatic experience that could have triggered this fear of the dark.

Many people though have phobia of the dark because of a traumatic experience when they were kids. For some, their fear of the dark was triggered when they experienced being trapped in a dark closet. For others, it was due to a very strong imagination – imagining seeing “ghosts” or “monsters” in their rooms or closets. As for me, I can’t recall having any of these experiences when I was younger. It just happened and I can’t seem to find a cure. How I wish this fear of the dark would go away or be cured because it’s really embarrassing. You see, even if I’m only 13 years old, I probably look older because I’m a bit tall. Imagine a big girl screaming her lungs out because she’s afraid of the dark. My love for reading scary novels (Stephen King’s) never helped. If only the cure can be bought from a drugstore, I’d buy one whatever the cost. If only this phobia is like a gangrened leg that can be amputated, I’ll have this amputated right away!

I feel that this phobia of the dark is like a debilitating . . . disease (?) that spreads like wildfire from my heart to my brain and to the different parts of my body. When this happens, my natural reflex would be to let out a blood-curling scream…AAAAHHHH!!!

Do you know that I sleep with the blanket covering my body from head to foot? When my mother thinks that I’m already asleep, she would try to remove the blanket from my head because she fears that I may not be able to breathe. However, I would always manage to cover my head back. I tried to do a lot of things to fight this fear. I have tried keeping the lights on while trying to sleep. Unfortunately, I just couldn’t sleep with the lights on. I have tried opening my eyes in the middle of the night when all is dark and quiet. And I ended up in a panic, shutting my eyes back and trying hard to get back to sleep. My only conclusion (and excuse?) is that maybe I’m really still a child. Like little kids, I have a very strong imagination in the dark. I imagine seeing scary apparitions from probably, just a bathrobe hanging near the door of my room, or from my guitar hanging by the wall. I imagine hearing scary sounds from the bamboo tree near our house or from the cats fighting outside. This is really sssooo embarrassing!

Every now and then I try to get used to and act brave in the dark. Gosh! It’s sooooo hard! I have never been consistent. This time I feel brave, the next time I chicken out right away and turn on the light. So help me God! What do you think – that I’m a scaredy-cat or sumthin’? Hah, I’ll poke your nose if you think that!

Don’t worry, I’m still trying to overcome my fear of the dark. Maybe in time, I can be successful. What is important is that I recognize this weakness and I’m trying to find a way to overcome it. So in the meantime, when in the dark…SMILE (though you may be crying inside), DANCE (though you may be shaking inside)…oh what the heck…GO TO SLEEP!